To the people who have tattoos and never get asked what they mean, how? I guess one of the major things people forget to tell you when getting a tattoo is how often you’ll be asked about them. I know that with my two visible tattoos, I get asked on a weekly basis what they mean and stand for. In the past it used to bother me, you know, people asking you all the time why you have a “W” tattooed on the inside of your arm. I think it partly bothered me because I wasn’t as confident in myself as I thought that I was when I got a permanent mark on my body…genius, right? Months later, I got an “E” tattooed on the inside of my other arm, near my elbow. As I’ve grown with these little tattoos of mine, I crave for people to ask me about them and not because I like talking about myself (maybe that too, just a little bit).
You know when you feel really really stuck and scared to speak up because you’re too scared that people will reject you? Yeah, me too and it fucking sucks. You just want somebody so badly to be with you. Once I figured out that all I wanted was somebody to be with me, it started following me everywhere. Every opportunity I got, I wanted to tell people that I was with them. And by being with somebody, I mean to really be there with them in this life of madness and this life of joy. I’m dying for the day somebody tells me that they want to drop out of school and become a junior olympic prank puller, simply because I get to tell them I’m with them. While I may not be entirely with them in that situation, meaning I won’t drop out of school to become a junior olympic prank puller, I still get to love and watch this friend of mine do what they’ve mustered up the courage to do. Meanwhile, the rest of us are too scared to do so. Why?
I also find myself on the blue days having to remind myself who I am with and who is with me. Sometimes life is super shitty, wether it be something you created for yourself or something that you have no control over. Either way, you still want somebody to be with you. I think that people nowadays aren’t doing that, being with each other. We are so scared to be vulnerable and open to our own weakness that we can’t just be with somebody? That’s so dumb. For me personally, I find myself to be a pretty religious gal. Meaning, I know who is with me and I know who wept with me in the times when I thought that I was so incredibly alone. You don’t have to be religious to resonate with this at all and by just being confident enough in yourself to be with somebody makes all the difference. We all want to feel loved and feel like we have a seat at the lunch table and we can do that by just simply being with people.