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what do you want right now?


imagine this. i had just freshly turned 18 and it’s the summer going into my freshman year of college. i was at church on one humid sunday morning, alone. i sat next to this man on my left and a lady with her family on my right. after all the music and stuff that church does at the beginning before the sermon, my pastor Justin Morgan asked us all a question. the question that Justin asked us was, “what do you want right now?”. he told us to turn to our neighbor and share with them what we want. keep in mind, this man sitting next to me was probably in his mid-40’s and I had literally just turned 18. of course, my hollow self at the time said, “i want a new macbook pro…or maybe some new black jeans” and didn’t think anything bad of it. in return, this anonymous man sitting next to me says, “i just want peace”. 


i paused, speechlessly. after my speechless pause i said, “wow, that’s a lot more humble than a new MacBook pro”. the stranger (at the time) to my left laughed and validated me. i then asked him why he wanted peace and he went on to tell me about his new born baby and how stressed his wife was and all that adult type stuff. stuff i surely cannot relate to yet in life. 


but i will say one thing. that moment has never left my head for a day, not a single day has gone by that i haven't thought about that stranger to my left asking and praying for peace. i continue to pray for peace every single night when i go to sleep. while i’m only 20 years old now and almost 3 years has gone by since that sunday morning in july, i’m constantly praying for peace. peace in my relationships, peace in my family, peace in my school, peace in my anxiety and peace in the days that i feel like everything is crashing and burning. 


you know it’s really funny because before that one sunday, i had never seen this man before in my whole life. after that sunday, i saw him everywhere. what a friendly face that was to see. i got the treat and honor to ask him how he’s doing and if he has received that peace that he wanted. he asked me if i got that macbook pro. i said no and still continue to say no, i don’t even need a new computer but thats aside the point. anyway. this man, which i forgot his name, was so incredibly vulnerable with some stranger of an 18 year old year sitting next to him in church, and he just didn’t seem to care. that’s how i want to live my life. i want to live my life telling strangers to my left and right the current hardships that i may be facing, and face them with optimism and hope. more importantly, to face them with peace. 


this may be irrelevant to you but it surely brings me to tears. i pray for peace for you and for me and for your neighbor and your family and your loved ones. i pray for peace. 

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